The Search for Higher Ground

“DOES THAT TICK YOU OFF?” Stu asked Penny as they stood atop a West Village roof and watched a flock of geese fly overhead.

“Does what tick me off?”

“You know, that you can’t fly?”

“Oh brother,” Penny said.  “How many times do we have to go over this?”

“Until you can fly.”

“Not all birds fly, Stu.  There are flightless cormorants, ostriches, emus…there’s even a flightless bird in New Guinea called a cassowary. Strange fellow.”

“You’re like a basketball player who can’t dunk,” Stu said.  “You’re the John Stockton of the bird community.  He could pass and shoot for days, but when it came down to it, everyone just wanted to see him throw one down every once in a while.”

Penny walked to the other side of the building so he could look out over midtown.  He’d never been this high up before.  Maybe if he caught the wind just right he could fly down to the streets below.  Maybe he could become a legend.  The first flying penguin.  Certainly the first in New York City.

Stu, saw Penny standing on the ledge and knew what he was thinking.

“You’re not going to dunk today, Colonel.”

So they hopped on the elevator and returned to the streets, safetly, ready for their next adventure.

Penny and Stu Trek Across Flatiron

 

Penny and Stu Watch the Giants Win the Super Bowl!

“Two feet!  Two feet!  He was in!!!”

“Oh it’s on!”

Penny and Stu Cross the Brooklyn Bridge

After their harrowing experience with the stolen bicycle Penny and Stu decided that walking, not riding, the streets of New York was probably their best bet. But the streets were getting boring.  They felt closed in.  Too many commuters, too many cars and too many tourists.  Oh, the tourists.  “If one more tourist asks me which way is Uptown I’m going to vomit all over their fanny pack,” Stu told Penny.

Penny and Stu set off to cross all 5,989 feet of the Brooklyn Bridge.  Despite it being February 2nd the air was warm, maybe a function of the same global warming that cast off the ice flows that brought both Penny and Stu to New York City in the first place.  While Penny took in the view, Stu dreamed of speed. “I told you we should have kept that bike!” Stu told Penny.  “We’re getting smoked!”

Penny stopped midway to read about the history of the bridge and New York Harbor.  Stu hocked loogies over the side.

By the time they reached the other side of the bridge they couldn’t help but bask in the high that comes from crossing such an iconic structure. They took it all in.

“Wait!  Do we have to go all the way back?” Stu asked.

“I say we keep going, my good chap.  See what we can find in the great beyond.”

And their adventure continued…

Penny and Stu Steal a Bike

“I’M TELLING YOU, you have to have a bike in this city,” Stu told Penny one day while playing Tony Hawk’s Shred on Xbox.

“I’d rather have a town car and a driver,” Penny said.  “And do you always have to do that left side fakie ollie?  It’s so rote.”

“I’ll do it until you come and steal a bike with me.”

And so Penny and Stu left their  Lower East Side apartment, Stu with a pair of bolt cutters he’d borrowed from the super.  Penny kept watch as Stu went to work on the chain.  Within seconds the bike was free and now Penny and Stu had to make a decision.  Where were they going to go?  The answer: everywhere.

When the coast was clear they hopped on the pedals and got the bike to move.  Although they didn’t have very good control of the bike, Penny and Stu ripped down Broadway.  They wove in and out of traffic, slowing only when Stu saw a man pushing a Shih-Tzu in a stroller.

“You’re the animal, dude!  That’s degrading!” he yelled.

They hadn’t gone very far when out of nowhere a Dominican woman selling empanadas cut in front of the bike with her cart.  Penny and Stu slammed on the breaks but it was too late, they hit the side of the cart and were flung onto the sidewalk.

The woman felt so badly that she hadn’t seen the bike coming that she gave Penny and Stu each an empanada of their choice.  Stu grasped for the beef while Penny took a spinach and a fist-full of napkins.  As they ate their empanadas Penny told Stu that he didn’t think is was very prudent for the two of them to steal bicycles any more.  Stu thought about it for a second, then turned to the Dominican woman and said, “Uno mas, por favor!”