Penny and Stu Steal a Bike

“I’M TELLING YOU, you have to have a bike in this city,” Stu told Penny one day while playing Tony Hawk’s Shred on Xbox.

“I’d rather have a town car and a driver,” Penny said.  “And do you always have to do that left side fakie ollie?  It’s so rote.”

“I’ll do it until you come and steal a bike with me.”

And so Penny and Stu left their  Lower East Side apartment, Stu with a pair of bolt cutters he’d borrowed from the super.  Penny kept watch as Stu went to work on the chain.  Within seconds the bike was free and now Penny and Stu had to make a decision.  Where were they going to go?  The answer: everywhere.

When the coast was clear they hopped on the pedals and got the bike to move.  Although they didn’t have very good control of the bike, Penny and Stu ripped down Broadway.  They wove in and out of traffic, slowing only when Stu saw a man pushing a Shih-Tzu in a stroller.

“You’re the animal, dude!  That’s degrading!” he yelled.

They hadn’t gone very far when out of nowhere a Dominican woman selling empanadas cut in front of the bike with her cart.  Penny and Stu slammed on the breaks but it was too late, they hit the side of the cart and were flung onto the sidewalk.

The woman felt so badly that she hadn’t seen the bike coming that she gave Penny and Stu each an empanada of their choice.  Stu grasped for the beef while Penny took a spinach and a fist-full of napkins.  As they ate their empanadas Penny told Stu that he didn’t think is was very prudent for the two of them to steal bicycles any more.  Stu thought about it for a second, then turned to the Dominican woman and said, “Uno mas, por favor!”

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